Sunday, June 19, 2011

Oh Father's Day.....






For those of you who know me, you know that my Dad passed away in August of 2008 and we weren't on the best of terms. It is something that I think about often, and feelings of bitterness, sadness, and happiness consume my brain. I have very mixed emotions. The Downs's are known for being very opinionated, very prideful people, and being blatantly honest (which isn't and wasn't always a good thing)! You either love us or you hate us and it was to a point where my Dad and I were involved in a love-hate relationship with each other. I always think about him and miss him the most during baseball season. Watching baseball together was OUR thing...he wished I was a boy from day 1, so he naturally attempted to raise me as a "Tom-Boy!" I love the game of baseball and have always been a true Giants fan! I know that if he were here today, we would be watching all the games together. He would love the fact that my boys LOVE baseball and that they aren't even 2 years old! A few days ago, I got a package in the mail. It was from my Grandma Peggy, (My Dad's Mom). In it was a cassette tape that said: George to Brittany Started 9/20/85 and was written in my Dad's handwriting. Apparently it is a tape that my Dad had made for me, and I have never heard any of it. I don't have a cassette player, so until I get my hands on one, the contents of the tape will remain a mystery. I am sure when the time comes for me to listen to it, it will be pretty emotional stuff. Today is a bad day for me all around. I am sicker than a Dog, My husband is out of town, and I miss my Dad...I feel stuck in this town that will never feel like home to me. I yearn for the day when I can take my family to experience what it was like to grow up where I did and to be around my family and friends. Soon enough....just gotta keep pressing forward and work towards our goal. Hope you enjoy some of the pics =/

2 comments:

Spitfirefury said...

Regardless of what kind of love/hate was going on, a father's love is stronger than the anger. I think it's crazy he made you a tape. You gotta get on that! :) I started a journal for my princess and have to find it now that I read your post.

When we pass on, we leave a piece of our soul with everyone we have ever encountered and he's still with you in one form or another today and you can't forget that. :)

Michelene said...

B, I loved talking to you today. The tape was full of truth, passion and LOVE. I am sorry it was emotional and cannot be talked through. You have a place in my heart that no one can ever fill. I love you!