Friday, May 30, 2008

Invitation time!!

For the past week I have been the wedding invitation Queen. I ordered invites online and when I got them I burst into tears because they were so terrible! So I went to the store bought some ribbon and bling, and went to work!! I attempted to make them prettier than they were before! Now that they are complete, I like them for the simple fact that I spent so much time trying to improve them. For those of you who have never thrown a big event, the invitation process is draining. Creating the labels, stuffing the envelopes, attaching the stamps, etc. etc.!! 2 nights ago I found myself sitting on my living room floor in tears. All of my bridesmaids are scattered throughout California and I am doing everything for my wedding alone. I have a few friends that are local but they are busy with kids, husbands, and other things. I feel guilty even asking them for help. I have envisioned how my wedding planning would go since I was little, and was a bit disappointed that it wasn't exactly how I pictured it. But then my wonderful fiance came and rescued me from the oh- so sad and dramatic pity-party I was having by myself. He is as macho as they come....Construction worker, Biker, typical tough guy! He came and sat next to me on the floor, and began stuffing invitations. He made my tears stop, and made me remember why I am so lucky to have him. He is amazing and is so kind and giving. Thank you babe for being everything I need and more!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Oh BCBG how I love you!!

So I absolutly went bazurko and splurged on a 2nd wedding dress for our wedding! I don't know what I was thinking considering the blog I posted before this one talks about how my money tree won't grow! I saw this dress at a Boutique in Burlingame and they didnt have my size. I searched online and found it at Bloomingdales. The picture doesn't do it justice because in person it is so glamourous! I love it! The only bad thing is that it was $350 big ones! I feel like I am being completely selfish by making this purchase so this may have to be returned at a later date. It is backordered and won't be here until July 27! My wedding is August 2nd so lets hope it makes it on time! What do you think? Have no money in the bank, or keep the pretty BCBG dress???

Our Money Tree Won't Grow

My fiance and I are struggling big time with money. I have a good job and he has a GREAT job! But sadly enough, it just isn't cutting it. I am the worry wart in our household and with that comes an undescribable amount of stress. I hear that money issues are what break up most relationships and that scares me a bit. Lately, there has been a ton of tension in our house and we are working on working together on this money issue instead of working against eachother. It is definitely a challenge! It is so discouraging that what we make in the bay area gets us no where! We could own a beautiful home if we lived elsewhere! So frustrating! Does anyone have any helpful hints as to how we can generate some extra income or how we can not fight over money???

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Life as a "Steppie!!"

I subscribe to a daily online devotional. As soon as I get to work every morning I boot up my computer and check my email account, hoping that the devotional has beat me to work! I find that the days I read the devotional, are the best days I have. Today totally hit home and warmed my heart. As most of you may know, my fiance has a 4 year old son named Christian. And you also might know that I am not the most patient person! So at times, having Christian around is a very difficult thing for me to deal with. It causes a lot of fights and arguments between Aaron and I, and at times I just wanted to say forget it and give up! But then there are the little moments. The moments where I walk in the door from work and Christian is there to greet me with a huge grin on his face! He runs over to me, lifts his hands up for me to bend down and pick him up, and then gives me a big wet kiss! Then there are the times when he is in his room playing and he runs out of the room and comes up to me and says, "I love you" and then runs back into his room...those are the moments that melt my heart and let me know that it is worth it. Now, Aaron and I have to learn how to get on the same page on the "raising children" aspect. I am a young 24 year old, who really has no clue what and how I am supposed to be doing as a soon-to-be step-parent. I am more of the disciplinary and Aaron is more of the care-free fun one. I always look like the wicked witch! I want to instill rules, morals, and stability in Christian but Aaron says that all Christian needs is to have fun....I just don't know who is right! At times it is hard for me because I feel like when Aaron and I decide to have children together, it wont be special for him like it will be for me, since it is not his first child. I get really sad about that. I am also confused about where I should be on his priority list. Should his loyalty be with me or with his son....can you love someone more than you love your own child? I sometimes feel so down about this because I have no children so Aaron is my number one love. I love him more than anything in this world. I just desire that same kind of love. Well I want to share the devotional with all of you. It really encouraged me and I hope that I will leave the same lasting effect on Christian as the narrarator did on her step children.

A Blessed Steppie
Shari Braendel

“Her children arise and call her blessed”
Proverbs 31:28 (NIV)

“Life’s good with a Steppie!” my stepdaughter Carly added to the conversation we were having with her college roommate. As I heard her words, deep warmth came over me. Carly and her two sisters are my stepdaughters and “Steppie” is their term of endearment for me.

I love my stepdaughters dearly, but that doesn’t mean life as a “Steppie” has been easy. At times, step-parenting is the hardest thing I do. “What did I sign up for?” I’ve asked myself multiple times during the past eleven years. Establishing relationships with each of my daughters has required a lot of patience and hard work. We’ve had many good times of love and laughter, but other times I have struggled and agonized as I strived to “get it right” and be their “Steppie.”

Despite the challenges, I realize each phone conversation we have, each meal we share, or each e-mail I type to my daughters is an opportunity to honor my calling as their “Steppie.” I am not a replacement for their mom - I can’t be. What I can be, though, is their cheerleader, encourager, disciplinarian, friend and spiritual mentor … and through these challenges, God has grown me.

Somehow, in the last dozen or so years of being “Steppie,” God has been teaching me to be “bigger” than I ever wanted to be. For instance, instead of giving in to yelling when things have been tense, He’s helped me find the grace to bite my tongue and be gentle. He’s taught me that being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (James 1:19) is a prerequisite for Proverbs 31:28 which says, “Her children arise and call her blessed.”

Although my stepdaughters are out of the nest now, I know that my step-parenting role continues. Even today, life as a step-mom is difficult at times, but it is good because God continues to work in our lives and in our relationships with each other. What a wonderful affirmation it was to hear Carly arise and bless me the day she exclaimed, “Life is good with a Steppie!”

Dear Lord, please help me remember You gave me these precious children because You trusted me with them. May I draw closer to You each day and know they are looking to me for an example of Your love. Help me be a mother You and they are proud of, and help me to love them as much as You do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

This past Sunday was Mother's Day. As we spent the day with Aaron's family, I was sort of the odd man out because I was the only non-mother. Then to my suprise Aaron hands me over a $100 gift card to my favorite clothing store. I was in shock! I was like, um, what is this for? He said that he loves how I am a great mother to his son and he appreciates all that I do for the both of them. It really made me feel good, like maybe I was doing something right. It felt good to get my first Mother's Day present! If any of you have any helpful hints that could assist our blended family, I think we would all appreciate it!!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Weekend Fun!

This weekend Aaron, Christian, and I went to Walnut Creek for a co-ed baby shower for Aaron's best friend's wife! The weather was beautiful and I was so happy to be able to wear a sun dress. For those of you who don't know, South City weather is often windy and overcast. So it was a treat to be able to get some sun! There was delicious food and tons of unique baby shower games. I am very competitive when it comes to these games and I must admit I won a few of them! :) One of the games was co-ed. They had a clothes line set up and had a basket of laundry and clothes pins. You had 20 seconds to see who could hang up the most laundry while holding a baby doll and holding a huge Zack Morris cell phone!! I hung up four items, and Aaron beat me with 5 itmes!!! I was proud of him and was even more happy that we would get to share his prize, a starbucks gift card!!! Poor Christian was the first kid up to beat up the pinata! He took one big whack and the wooden bat flew back and smacked him right in the eye!! Poor guy got his first shiner!!! Over all it was a good day!

Friday, May 2, 2008

The Beginning!

For months I have viewed people's blogs and have desired to start my own! I used to be so dedicated to writing in my journal and I don't think I have touched it in over 7 months! After I would write a journal entry, I would get such a calm feeling. I think the simple fact that I was able to get out all of my frustrations and anxieties onto paper made me feel so much better. I hope that this blog allows me to share my feelings as well as the exciting new experiences that I run into, throughout my everyday life! I am not very blog savy, and would definitely appreciate some help along the way!!