How Ironic?

I must confess my addiction to the show, "The Biggest Loser." I love watching all the contestants shred their weight. But I must confess something else. As my husband and I laid in bed watching the season finale, we were also eating an entire chocolate cake. Does that make sense to any of you? Maybe I should sign up...

Truth

Do you ever want to blog about something so personal that you hesitate to actually do it? That is the challenge I am faced with today. I want to pour my heart out and fill up the page with my story and I simply can't...all because "image" is such a huge factor in this world.

Nothing but tears...

This is sweet Caleb on his 3rd birthday.


My dad and I at the beach.




This is a picture of my dad and I on my 16th birthday. He knew he was dying...his eyes look sad to me.

You would think a birthday would be a great and exciting day. I just feel really depressed. Tomorrow is my 25th bday and I don't want the day to come. This will be my first birthday without my dad. He used to make each and every birthday a special day for me. Usually the day before (Dec. 9) he would call me at 10:49pm and tell me how tomorrow (on my birthday) he was going to call at 10:49pm because that is when I was born. So then my birthday hits and he would call WAY TOO early and would always be the first person to wish me a Happy Birthday. Then like clock work at 10:49pm he would call and tell me the story of how I was born and how he was mad at my mom because I was not a boy~HAHA! But then after he would tell me the story, he would tell me that he was glad I was his daughter. Wow, I am getting teary eyed writing this. I am just a hot mess today. Today is my Step-dad Jim's 60th birthday. It is a good day for him because he can finally order off of the senior citizen menu. He is all about a discount. But today is also my cousin Caleb's birthday. He passed away a few years ago and I just can't help but cry because I miss his sweet face and his innocent voice. I can't write anymore...the tears are streaming.

Just one of those effing days...

When I walked out of my door this morning to head to work, I couldn't help but notice the police at my neighbors house taking pictures of his nice black Cadillac Escalade that was sitting on cinder blocks because some low lives decided to jack all 4 of his tires with the rims. I thought to myself...ewww, I hate living in the ghetto. Then the line at Starbucks was way too long and I couldn't get my usual morning coffee....not a good morning so far. THEN......I leave work to head home for lunch. I am a block away from my house and notice yet again, the road closed off by fire trucks, police cars, and an ambulance. I wondered what happened...then I noticed the crowd of ghetto men wearing red sweatshirts, red beanies, and red rags....hmmm another great thing about living in the ghetto....GANG violence. I finally get home. Open the door and hope to take in the scent of my beautiful Christmas tree so that I can unwind and relax. Instead, I smell poop and pee. My stupid freaking dog peed and pooped all over the kitchen floor. She decided she would rip up her pee pad and grab a clean towel off the couch, drag it into the kitchen and poop on that too. Did I clean it up?? No, I took pictures, blogged about it, and left and called my husband and told him he has some Sh*t to clean up when he gets home. He thinks it is really funny. We will see how funny he thinks it is when he gets here at 2:30!!

My juicy Bird!

A few years back when I lived in San Luis Obispo, a bunch of my male roomates and I decided we would create Thanksgivign at our house. So of course I called my dad since he was a great cook and asked him how to make a turkey. He gave me directions and the turkey was soooo good! I was so proud and all the guys were quite impressed! So this year since my immediate family didn't really have a sit down dinner, I decided to create our own at our house with the sides we all like! But the problem was, I forgot how to make the turkey the way my dad told me to and it really hurt me that I could'nt just pick up the phone and ask. I called my Grandma and she reminded me oh how my dad used to do it. I was so proud once again, because it came out so tender and juicy. Do you notice how we are eating in tank-tops? Isnt Thanksgiving supposed to be cold and you are supposed to sip warm drinks?? Yeah, not here. It was about 78 degrees in San Francisco! We had all the windows open and were so uncomfortable why we ate! Oh well at least it tasted great! Have a look at my bird!

Pug lover!

When I lived in San Luis Obispo I got a Pug named Barnard. He was the cutest little guy ever! I moved into an apartment where dogs werent allowed and so I had my mom watch him for a few months. When I was able to take him again, she freaked out and said she loved him too much to let him go! So I let her keep him. So we just bought a girl pug and named her Leila! She is too cute! Barnard and Leila were able to play on Thanksgiving and it was so cute! My mom made Barnard obese by feeding him steak and potatoes! I thought poor Barnard was going to smother little Leila at first! Aren't they so precious???

Turkey Day 2008

This Thanksgiving was the first out of 24 years that was not spent with my father and his side of the family. Being that my parents were divorced, Thanksgiving was always my dads holiday and Christmas was always my moms. Now that I am married, I have my own little family. A family that I will make my number 1 priority and a family I will create new traditions with. I am inspired by my FAVORITE FAMILY in the entire world, aka the Fitzgerald's. They are an amazing family that always gives great advice and always makes a great impression. I love them because they are so real. They are the family that have always been by my side when I have experienced terrible times. Scott and Mish have always been my rock! I had the opportunity to introduce my husband and my steppie to Thanksgiving Brunch with the Fitz Fam! We dined on great food and sipped on mimosas! I had a great time laughing with my fam that I miss so much! Thanks for an amazing time! We will be there next year, and we promise not to be late!