Thursday, July 28, 2011

Random Rant take 30!

I've been in a rut lately. I love my immediate family so very much, and at times I feel like the plan God has for us is kinda crazy. When people throw out the statement "You can't choose your family" it bothers me. I truly wish I could hand pick each and everyone of my family members. I feel like I got kinda screwed. I am not going to go into major detail on this one, but those of you who know Aaron and I, know our deal with the family situation. Although this is my personal blog where I should be able to share my true thoughts and feelings, I know doing so would cause major havoc that I just don't want or need. But Aaron and I have come to realize that sometimes the people who don't share your blood act more like your family than those who do. Becoming a parent made me view life completely differently than I did before I had kids. My life revolves around my children and my husband and I wouldn't have it any other way. Aaron and the kids totally complete me. We go about our lives on a daily basis without help from anyone else. We are strong people who just keep pushing through the rough patches. I don't know what we would do without each other and I feel like our struggles with the "family" is just bringing us closer together. Society makes it hard to cut out the toxic people in your life when they share your blood. Being guilted and being sabotaged to be around them when you truly don't want to and when you truly have nothing in common is just super frustrating. I used to yearn for those "close knit" relationships and bonds with my family but have come to the conclusion that it is just not meant to be. Cutting ourselves out of the puzzle and attempting to break the generational curses is what we have to do to create a safe and stable environment for OUR children. Although sometimes it is extremely painful and you want to give in because you think the people who have hurt you most have changed, we have to remember HOW MANY times they have put us through the same vicious cycle. I think the example that I had growing up is why I am the Mom that I am today. I always want to be in control and always want to make sure everyone is taken care of. I want my kids to feel loved and respected at all times and I want to raise them to be strong men who aren't afraid to express their opinions and are able to make educated choices based on the morals we have instilled in them. Sometimes Good kids don't come from Good parents and that is just a fact. But we will do our best today and always. The people we have as "family" who make such poor decisions and don't make an effort to be a part of our lives are the ones who are missing out. I have AMAZING children and they are worth making an effort for. The people who don't do what they need to do to involve themselves will be the ones who are missing out in the long run, because they can't go back in time to make up for what they have missed! Time to cuddle my boys and let them feel the love.

1 comment:

Toni Lynn Daughtry said...

Amen Miss Brit!!! I new I would hear this from you one day. It really hits the heart when you have little ones of your own and you want so badly to not be the people that raised you! I've lived it since Sarah was born. But don't let your fears take over your dreams! You need not be afraid of what other may say or do or act, they will alway be that way so just be the person that I know is in your heart!!! You are a wonderful person, I think I have told you that since you where 12! Now you are a Amazing Mommy and Wife! You do what is best for you, Aaron and those sweet little boys! If the others have a chance to be around you and your great little family they should count themselves as blessed! If not it is there loss! No matter how hard you try they will never see that loss because they aren't the person you are. There are more of them out there than you think and also am a child of that background. Life is pretty good now but it took me all these years to realise what you are beginning to! Just do me and yourself a favor and don't wait till your 44 and your kid are almost grown! All those babies need is Love and you and Aaron not a bunch of DRAMA!! Break the Chair girly friend, who give a shit who it hair lips!!!

Love you to pieces!!! Toni oxoxox<3