RIP George Downs 7-24-56 to 8-19-08

On Sunday 8-17-08. I got a phone call from my mom. She said she heard through the grape vine that my dad was in the hospital again and that he is taking a turn for the worst. For those of you who do not know, my dad has been battling cirrhosis of the liver and diabetes for many years now. I have been called over 5 times to be told that my dad has come to the end of the road, and that I must come say my goodbyes. Every time, he pulled through and went home. I always joked with him and told him he was like a cat with 9 lives! Many of you might also be unaware of the fact that my dad 's illness greatly effected his moods and his brain. His amonia levels would get all whacko and he would do and say crazy, horrible things. It was too the point that we got into it so bad, I told him I didn't want him at my wedding on 8-2-08. We always fought the worst way....we are two of the most stubborn people around!! I called my dad on 8-16-08 and there was no answer....it would have been the first time in months we would have spoken. So on Sunday when my mom said it was bad, I figured it would be like any other time and my dad would be home soon. But my husband and I got in the car and headed to Fresno. By the time I got there it was too late to talk to him. He was in a coma....and I went into the room by myself and just balled for hours....I knew I would never talk to my dad again and that I messed up beyond measure. The doctor said he had 48 hours to live and that his liver fully shut down and that the rest of his organs would shut down soon. We stayed in the hospital and I begged him not to die. I wanted him to wake up so I could tell him I was sorry and that I loved him. At 1:02pm on 8-19-08, my dad took his last breath and passed away. For years he would joke with me and tell me that I better say I love him and show him affection because when he was dead and gone, I would miss him more than ever. He was so right. If you are arguing or fighting with anyone in your life, make your peace. There is no way to describe to you, the pain and sadness I am feeling in my heart. My dad is dead....he is really gone forever....I don't think I will ever accept it...I hate it sooo much....I know he isn't suffering or in pain anymore, but I miss him sooo much. I miss you Dad....