Overwhelmed

It has been two days since my dad died. I am back home in South San Francisco. I came into work today....and I am mad that I did, now that I am here. I miss my dad. I think about him randomly, and wonder if he can see me, or if he knows how incredibly much I miss him. Why is it that I NEVER felt comfortable showing emotion around him while he lived, but now that he is gone, I can't stop?! I just feel like a walking zombie. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for Aaron. He has been my rock. I know it is hard on him because he doesn't know what to do or what to say. He just keeps saying he's sorry. I love him. I am so glad my dad knew I found a great man that would take care of me. I know he always worried about that. Tomorrow I am leaving to go to San Luis Obispo to be a part of my dear friend Mandy's wedding. Then my dad's funeral is Tuesday at 11:00am, and then I leave for my honeymoon August 29th. I am so busy, so overwhelmed...I can barely breathe. I hope my dad knows I miss him...