Valentine's Weekend 2009

This Valentine's Day was our first V-day together as husband and wife. Since funds are low Aaron suggested that we have a low key weekend away to his families mountain house in Pollock Pines, CA (about 40 minutes south of Tahoe). We got in my little Nissan and headed out of town. Aaron found snow chains online for 15 bucks so we were stoked!! There was so much snow on the road and my car was sliding all over! Thank goodness we made it ok! Our friends Matt & Renate drove up and stayed for one night too. Their dog Tyson & our dog Leila had fun playing in the snow together! I couldnt have asked for a better V-day. We had a great time and it didnt cost us very much $$$!

ANTS

Rain brings Ants and they really irritate me. They are in our shower, in our kitchen, in our bedroom. The other day I opened my pantry and saw Ants swarming over everything. I threw all of our food away and I mean everything! I sprayed tons of raid in there and then bleached the counters. We went grocery shopping and spent like $250 bucks. I open the pantry tonight, and they were everywhere yet again!! All I wanted to do was make a PB & J....I opened the peanut butter and they were inside the jar...yuck, gross, blah...I feel sick just thinking about it. Stupid Ants.

Devil on a Mission

Today Aaron and I set out on our journey to find a new "home church." We went to try out"The Bridge" in San Mateo. All I have to say is that the Devil was on a mission, attempting to prevent us from going to church. We woke up early and began to get ready. As I entered the kitchen, I was overwhelmed by Ants EVERYWHERE! I was so grossed out and knew there was no way I could leave the house with Ants roaming around. That was set back number 1. Finally we leave the house. We rush to San Mateo Starbucks to get coffee and breakfast because we know this particular church is going to go from 10-12. Why is it that this particular Starbucks didn't have any food in the display glass and that the cashier was so flippin' rude!?!?! That was set back number 2. Next, we got pulled over and got a ticket for my windows having to dark of tint. Set back number 3. For all of you who know me, You know I am not the most patient person and I let the smallest stuff bother me. After we got the ticket, I just laughed and said that I wasnt going to let the stupid Devil ruin my day. We finally made it to church. We put Christian in Sunday School called "Little Engines" and he had a blast. I thought the Church felt very warm and welcoming so that was a plus. People were so kind and so many people came up to greet us. I really liked how everyone was so personable. I am not big on worship and never have been so I was a little uncomfortable through that part. But when the pastor spoke, he hit my heart. He said we needed to become "teachable beings" and that we need to be "meek." That is so true for me. I am very hard headed, and so stubborn and dont allow myself to break free of the bondage that holds me captive. I sweat the small stuff and it isnt healthy. For me to be focused on my spiritual journey I need to really let things go and give them to God. I know it is a struggle that I am going to have to deal with. For me to have healthy relationships in my life, I seriously need to get right with myself. What are you struggling with? What does the Devil do to try and prevent you from achieving your spirtual goals?

BABY MAMA DRAMA

I have been with my husband for about 3 years. My step son will bill 5 in April. We continuously deal with extreme "baby mama drama" and I have just about had it. Aaron procreated with one of the most psychotic woman I have ever met in my life. The only thing this woman is consistant with, is the fact that she is inconsistant. She lies, and manipulates constantly. Her poor son screams and cries and asks not to go back to her. The only person who didnt see this, was the old mediator we had. All she cares about is $$. We pay her 700 bucks a month and it is obvious the money does not go towards Christians care. We pick him up from school and he is in high water sweat pants and old worn tennis shoes with no socks. Majority of the time, he has no underwear on. Her brother got kicked out of her moms house, and now lives with her. Christian no longer has a room to call his at her house. He tells us he sleeps on a fold out Spongebob couch on her bedroom floor. She disgusts me. For a long time, I was the mediator between my husband and this woman. But I just cant do it anymore. Tonight, I ended that relationship. Since Christians mom is a bar rat, every Thursday night she makes her presence known at the popular bar in South San Francisco. She fought tooth and nail to get custody of Christian and won. Her family enables her to be a bad mother. But from what I hear, she had a similar upbringing. Woman in her life always out sleeping around with whoever leaving the kids with whoever will watch them. It is sad, but its like come on people, GROW UP! We finally got her to agree to us having him over night on Thursdays. Then tonight after he is tucked in bed, she calls demanding that we drop him off at her moms house. Not even to her, but to her mom! Christian said no, I want to stay with my daddy!! She assumed we were making him say that, and I am just glad we have a million people who have heard him say it without us prompting him. She calls the police and makes false reports like its her job. We currently have Christian Tuesday and Thursday from 4-8 and everyother weekend. It is just not enough for us because when it is her time to have him, she has pawned him off to someone else. The California court systems suck to. We had written documentation and proof of what she does and they didnt even look at it. She just cried & lied, and they gave her custody. We get "visitation rights." But now we got an amazing lawyer that costs us about 10grand, (we will be paying for this one for awhile), but ensures us that because we have pictures of her and witnesses that will attest to the type of mother she is, that we will gain atleast 50% custody if not 100%, leaving her with visitation rights. I hate court, but it is worth it. She is worthless and I will not allow her to continue to run my marriage and will not allow her to traumatize poor Christian. If any of you deal with this, please provide me with some insight. I probably should not have even been this open on this blog, but I needed to get it out and writing frees my anxiety. I pray that things will change soon.

We met Kat Von D!!

Yeah, not the best pic of Aaron.

I LOVED her boots!

In line!

Virgin Records San Francisco

Annoyed about waiting in line.

Seriously annoyed.

The line of 5,000!

Last Friday we found out that Aaron's dream wife, Kat Von D, owner of High Voltage tattoo in LA and star of the hit show LA Ink, would be having a book signing in the city. So we rushed down and waited in line for a good 2 hours to see her. She is a lot more thin in person than she is on tv.

My daily thought

You know the classic saying "Pictures don't lie!" What a crock of crap. Actually pictures do lie. I have a gazillion pictures of me smiling and laughing. Someone looking at the pictures would assume that I was having the best time of my life just by looking at them. But anyone can pose. I look at a ton of blogs throughout my day and I see pictures of everyone so happy and cheerful. I want to see the REAL pictures. The pictures of their everyday life that consist of chaos and drama! Show me the goods people!

Lonely at heart

Do you ever feel so lonely it makes you feel sick to your stomach. It's when you realize you dont really have anyone in the flesh to talk to or confide in. I feel like that now. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I feel empty. This is my life right now. This is how I feel. Some may judge me and talk mess about my true feelings, but who are they to judge me? Atleast I am being 100% real and am not afraid to show it.